Mental and Emotional Self-Care

Melanie Handles Mental and Emotional Trauma

She got up and went to the kitchen and signed the divorce decree.

Returning to the parlor, thoughts flowed into her mind. She quickly typed the inspired plan. It told her what to do to take care of her family’s needs. She learned how to tell her three school-age children.

Her husband left taking the divorce decree as she was writing. She called trusted church friends and arranged for their help. One was retired. Melanie asked her to come watch her two youngest.

Her older children arrived home. Melanie had them join her in the parlor. She reminded them that she and their father are not perfect. “But your Heavenly Father is perfect, and He perfectly knows you and loves you, no matter what happens.”

Then she told them their father had left them to live somewhere else and wasn’t coming back. Tears flowed as the words sank in. She hugged her three oldest children and explained when she learned of his decision in response to her oldest daughter’s question.

Her children were mentally and emotionally traumatized by the news. It broke Melanie’s heart. She begged the Lord to help her. He did. They were all held in a warm, peaceful, loving embrace. Tears dried. Smiles appeared. Melanie heard God tell each child He would be their father. Joy replaced the heartache.

There would still be sadness, softened by the blessing of being watched over by God. Melanie then explained the schedule changes she would need to make that would affect them when she found a job.

Melanie secured a professional job covering her family financial needs. She would have to carefully budget, but she could do that. Landing this job was a mental and emotional relief.

Melanie arranged for her children to go to a trusted friend’s daycare. The three older ones would walk to and from a nearby school. A pre-event practice at the daycare for three days made the transition work.

She taught them mental and emotional self-care strategies. The children got used to only seeing mom in the morning and in the evening for five days each week. They made the mindful adjustments in less than a month with the Lord’s help.

Mental Self-Care

Mental self-care starts with being mindful—focusing on your thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations. You suspend judgment and stay in the present moment.

There are four simple ways to practice mindfulness:

• Focus on your breathing. Watch your breath for at least 5 minutes as you quickly breathe in and slowly breathe out as if you were blowing through a straw. 
• Mindful walking: Feel the feeling of touching the ground. Be aware of posture and maintain your balance. 
• Mindful eating: Sense the taste, texture, and smell of your food as you slowly eat. 
• Guided meditation: Find a guided meditation that focuses your awareness on your thoughts and feelings.

Here are activities that improve your ability to stimulate the mind and develop a growth mindset.  

Mental self-care activities:

• Learn any new skill or language.
• Set intentional goals and achieve them.
• Read self-help or personal growth books and implement their lessons.
• Journal your experiences and realizations.
• Practice gratitude with friends and family. Write your gratitudes.
• Do a social media fast for preferably a week.
• Engage in a game of chess or online skill game.
• Practice positive thinking.
• Meditate and ponder on a specific problem and listen for inspiration.
• Ponder on a specific issue as you walk and listen for guidance.
• Pray for God’s guidance and thank Him for His help.

Practice mindfulness every day for one to three months to make it automatic.

Emotional Self-Care

Emotional self-care is recognizing and managing your emotions, and engaging in activities that grow your emotional well-being. 

Benefits of emotional self-care:

• You are able to bounce back from setbacks and tough problems. 
• You understand your emotions and how to work with them. 
• You develop ways to handle your emotions.
• You become mentally stronger. 

Self-care activities

You can develop your emotional resilience with these activities:

• Recognize and respect your limits to protect your energy.
• Set healthy and clear boundaries in relationships to protect your feelings.
• Spend time in quiet places while meditating and pondering.
• Journal your feelings when joyful events and upsetting events happen.
• Speak to a therapist when you feel stuck or depressed
• Have a good cry to release those sad and despondent feelings
• Practice self-love with prayer and looking at the good you do.
• Write down positive affirmations that relate directly to your goals
• Ask for help from God, trusted family, and caring friends.
• Deep breathe, meditate, do yoga, or stretch to let go of stress. 
• Writing down things you’re thankful for.  
• Find humor in everyday life and laugh at yourself. 
• Pursue activities you enjoy, like gardening, cooking, or dancing. 
• Join with friends and family or a group with similar interests. 
• Meet with faith community at least once a week. 
• Be kind to yourself and quit expecting perfection.
• Eat healthy meals and stay physically active. 

Choosing to make positive decisions and use positive activities that really work to deal with mental and emotional trauma allows you to handle it with grace and peace.